All My Ancestors

Today Kim Powell at About.com:Genealogy addresses the “our name was changed at Ellis Island” myth in her most excellent column..  She address 4 of the common family myths in an earlier article entitled “Family Legends–Fact or Fiction?“–the 3 brothers, the Indian Princess, name change at Ellis Island, and the family inheritance gone awry.

Where I work, we see these myths on almost a daily basis.   We have one customer who has written us 6 times about his Indian great-grandmother.  No matter how we phrase it, we cannot convince him that the girl with the same name who is on the Dawes Rolls is in fact not his great-grandmother.  And another repeat customer is certain we can find out what happened to the inheritance her mother was “cheated out of” by an uncle who went for ministerial training.

One of my great-aunts insisted that her family name was originally “Unrau” instead of “Unruh” and that it was changed at Ellis Island.   At some point in time, the family name may very well have been “Unrau,” though I’ve found some fairly old church records from the time they spent in Russia that have “Unruh” recorded.  As for the Ellis Island myth, the family actually came in through Philadelphia.  The came at the end of 1874, almost 20 years before Ellis Island was opened in 1892.

I tend to believe that most family stories have a kernel of truth, but it’s my job to research and sort fact from fiction.  It’s one of the things I love most about doing this sort of research.   Our family did indeed immigrate, but the port they came in through was not even in operation at the time of their arrival.  This underscores the importance of doing good, basic research of the history of the time.  Contemporary records, such as the church records, are another means of determining what’s gotten changed through time in the the family story.

Miriam’s most recent journaling prompt asks us to think about who and how humor works in our families.

This is a topic I should be an expert on. I wrote a dissertation on humor. The main thing I learned was that the dissection of humor is the only operation in which the patient ALWAYS dies. (That’s not original with me, by the way, but I can’t remember–or find–the source right now.) It seemed like a good idea at the time, but anyone who’s done that sort of sustained, intense project, soon realizes that there’s nothing funny about it, no matter the topic.

We laughed a lot in our family–it seemed to be a point of pride to get others to laugh, in fact. Not that we were/are all clowns, but we do appreciate a good turn of phrase. My husband is from a family that laughs as well. And he’s the youngest, so he’s the performer, as is our youngest son. Our older son and I tend to be the “critics,” though that’s typically phrased humorously as well.

*When you laugh, who do you sound like? Your father, mother, a sibling, or other relative?
I don’t know who I sound like. I suspect I sound like my mother–everything else has gotten to be like her as I’ve aged–my hands, my skin, my looks. I know I don’t sound like my siblings–one brother sort of grins and giggles and the other laughs a bit louder than him, but we don’t sound alike, though we can enjoy some of the same things to laugh at.

*Who in your family giggles? Belly laughs? Chuckles? Guffaws? Knee slaps or does some other large physical act while laughing?
My grandad used to slap his knee sometimes when he was laughing, particularly if it was something he thought you should be laughing at also. The only person I can think of who giggles is a most unlikely candidate–he’s a cousin who is a big, tough, (at least in his youth) cowboy. I couldn’t help joining in the fun when Willie giggled. My brother laughs a bit like him though he would probably clobber me if I said he giggles.

*Who has the most unique laugh in your family, and why
In my immediate family, our youngest son has the most unique laugh–it just sort of bursts out and is there before you know it’s coming.

*What kinds of things did your family laugh or joke about?
All sorts of things, including each other.

There’s also a tradition of telling stories about serious events but using a humorous twist. I wish I had a recording, for example, of my cousin’s tale about setting his house of fire right before Christmas. His daughter was getting married and his dad, who had cancer, was there. It reminded me of Ogden Nash’s tale of “The Night the Bed Fell.” The event wasn’t funny but the telling was hilarious–all the things going through his mind, his dad, my incorrigible uncle, facing off the official who wanted to replace his meds from the fire-damaged pouch, the interaction with the firemen–not funny, but hilarious in the telling. My husband has a few of those types of stories as well–the first wedding he performed had a bomb threat called in AND a tornado siren go off during the service. They had to evacuate the church twice, in pouring rain. You can imagine what the wedding pictures look like from that one!

*What best describes the style of humor in your family (dry, wet, ironic, silly)?
I’d say it is ironic and even sometimes sarcastic. It’s not mean-spirited but it does have an edge.

There’s some silliness, as well. My dad lived with us for a couple of years after my mom died. His stroke and aging made him all the more susceptible to my sons’ silliness–and they loved having the audience. He loved the antics of the pets as well–he chuckled when he told me about the dog stealing his sandwich off the counter while his back was turned as he was putting the sandwich makings back into the fridge. And then there was the time the hot air balloon came over the back yard and scared the dog.

*Did you ever have tickle fights?
Maybe one. At least with me. Because I probably beaned whoever tried. I always thought they were sort of mean–probably because I was on the receiving end as a child. And maybe it wasn’t all that much of a fight–I was just being tickled and I didn’t like it.

*Who were the practical jokers in the family?
My brothers were practical jokers when we were younger–I was probably a really good target. Once they left jelly beans on their bed that they knew I would eat. They’d made sure our dog had licked them first.

I’ve been known to pull a few myself–I used to tell my youngest brother that chocolate milk came from black Angus cattle–I suppose this is sort of a region-specific joke. Back in that time and place, Herefords were the most common and desired brand.

And I told my husband-to-be at the time that we didn’t sing our school song, we whistled it. He made the mistake of checking with my parents and then he married me anyway.

*What private jokes did you have as a family? What key phrases were giggle starters?
One of the things that can send us into gales of laughter is the mention of hearing aids, or talking about not being able to hear. Our grandad got progressively more and more hard of hearing as he aged. We were all gathered in my parents’ family room, and Grandad kept having us, or more likely, Grannie, repeat to him what was being said. My younger brother, the shrink-in-training at the time, said, “Grandad, have you ever thought about getting hearing aids?” To which Grandad roared, “An airplane! What do I need an airplane for?”

*What do you remember about your own children’s first laughs when they were babies? What silly things did you do to get them to chortle?
Almost anything could send son #1 into a fit of the giggles–getting down close into his face or rolling him around a bit or just talking silly. Son #2 was a tougher audience, but usually with some patience, he would laugh at the same things.

*What books, magazine, or cartoon strips were favorite humorous reads in your family?
We always read “the funnies,” in both the daily paper and the Sunday comics. My dad liked “Dennis the Menace,” “Alley Oop,” and “Nancy,” as I recall. My own sons like reading “Calvin and Hobbes” and it’s probably pretty telling that #1 son loved (and understood) Matt Groenig’s “Life in Hell” at a very early age. They both, along with their dad, like to watch “The Simpsons.” And they love to make fun of me because I don’t like watching it.

*What comedy television shows or movies were favorites in your family?
As I’ve said before, we didn’t have television when we were kids. But sometimes we got to go over to Aunt Eva’s and watch cartoons. I think I enjoyed more watching my brother giggle at Huckleberry Hound than I did watching them myself. Later, my aunt kept my oldest son when he was a little one, and she introduced him to Peter Sellers’ Pink Panther. He does a great Guy Gadbois to this day. My grandad loved Red Skelton–again, it was as much fun to watch him as it was to watch the show.

*Do you ever play games that get your family giggling up a storm?
Password, when played in a multi-generational setting, nearly always set us off into laughter. My grandad, no matter how hard he tried, just couldn’t keep his salty language under control during the pressure of the game, which, of course, sent us kids into gales of laughter–our mother, his daughter, was not so amused. We would practically wet our pants when he and my dad, his son-in-law, were paired up and trying to get the other one to say the magic word. And my grandmother would throw salt at my husband and walk backwards around his chair when she thought he was winning at cards too much. All cause for lots of laughing.

*Do you have digital recordings, videotapes, audio tapes, or home movies with family members talking or laughing in them? I’m a fan of Susan Kitchen’s blog, Family Oral History Using Digital Tools, and she has lots of good tips for preserving these recordings. Perhaps you should plan to do some recording at the next family gathering!
I wish I did have recordings of some of those card games and games of Password. So maybe it’s time to use my digital recorder at the next family gathering. I will say that one of the favorite recordings that makes people laugh in my family is the an old movie of me, at about age 3, gagging myself repeatedly while cleaning my sunglasses. I’m decked out in my two-piece sun suit, and just can’t seem to get those glasses smear-free.

*Besides preserving audio recordings (and perhaps posting them on your blog!), you can post photos of family members cutting capers, laughing, or joking around.
I have done some of this. My grandmother’s 4 sisters astride the horse at Knott’s Berry Farm is a good example. I think the Anderton’s always had a good time when they got together. My grandmother was not rambunctious, but she did like to laugh and make others laugh.

This was a fun reminiscence. I’m glad to be a part of a family that laughs–some of those times and the shared experiences make our lives all the richer. They give us a bond with family members who are no longer around but who can still make us smile when we remember some of our times laughing together. And the stories repeated give other family members information about those they may not have known first-hand. I’m so glad my great-aunt Edna told me the story about “fur-bearing Christians,” for example. I can still see the twinkle in her eye when she told me that tale.

And I remember going to sleep with a smile on Christmas’ Eve because from the living room, I could hear my two adult sons doing what can only be described as giggling as they were playing “Guitar Hero.”

I found this letter my granddad wrote in 1918 among all the “stuff” we moved after his death in 1998. Based on the date of the letter, he would have been 9 when he wrote it. I don’t know who Ray was that he was writing it to, nor do I know if this was a common occurrence–his letter-writing, that is. I do know that his signature at age 9 looks just like I remember it looking 70 years later.

He mentions his parents going to Beaver. Beaver is the county seat of the county where the were living, also named Beaver. I wonder if they were doing some sort of official business there–much of their trading and shopping was done across the state line in Perryton, Texas–it was half the distance and a larger town. He also references his older sisters who were washing dishes–they were just older than him at 12 and 10.  Even when all three of these folks were in their 70s and 80s, Aunt Lorene and Aunt Edna were still referred to as “the girls.”

You can see that it’s written on that old cheap paper that turns acidic almost as soon as it is made. It’s probably pre-Big Chief tablet days, but the paper is similar. It doesn’t have a ragged edge at the top like it was torn from a tablet.

Here’s the text in case you can’t read the original:

Balko, OK.

Jan 9, 1918

Deare school mate Ray:

Are you coming to the party next Saturday night. I dont know if I will come nor not. How do you like to go to school I like to go to school all right How do ytou like your teacher. I like my teacher fine. Are you sitting in a seat by your self. My papa and mamma went to Beaver to day. They stayed till we had the chures done and the girls was washing dishes. Well I must go to bed. Yours truly

Elmer Unruh

I’m late this week doing Miriam’s “assignment.” I think I spent too much time worrying about the prompt from last week–about diversity. From reading her blog, it looks like I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t particularly comfortable writing about my family’s views on social diversity and civil rights. It’s not a pretty picture and I like to think I’ve moved past those opinions.

So I am writing about games because we played lots of them.

*Did you have a regular game night or family night?

No. Our family of 5 didn’t play games all that much, but when we got together with other family members, we always played cards (with grandparents) or dominoes or Monopoly (with cousins).

*What games (board, card, dice, or acting out) did your family enjoy? Was there a favorite you played time after time?

I wish I had a dime for every game of Pitch, Gin, and Spades I’ve played. We had such fun–my husband had never played cards and when he got acquainted with my grandparents, he learned to play. My grandmother thought he was unnaturally lucky and would throw salt at him or back around his chair to make him think she could break his luck. The rest of us were usually collapsed on the table with laughter and my husband was just amazed that my grandmother could be that crazy.

We also played Yahtzee a lot, Aggravation (marbles), Sorry, and also dominoes. I remember learning to play Clue and playing it obsessively one South Dakota summer with my friend Lois. We’ve also played our share of Trivial Pursuit. This past Thanksgiving, we played a game called Apples to Apples which was great fun–I gave it to a couple of people for Christmas.

*Did your family have a family or game room? What was it like? What kind of game equipment did it have (foosball, pool table, etc.)?

No game room. We just set up the card tables in the living room or den–my brother has made an Aggravation board, and he’s also made this cool 8 sided, felt covered topper for a card table for cards or dominoes.

*Do you have any funny stories or a particular memory (good or bad) that stands out of game-playing time?

See the story about my grandmother and my husband above.

*Were there any games you disliked? Why?

To this day, I don’t like to play Monopoly because of bad memories. The great aunt and uncle we lived near by had one daughter and 8 grandkids. Those grandkids knew how to rumble, and when they came to visit, I inevitably got roped into playing Monopoly with the boys (there were only 2 girls in the bunch) and my brothers. I was sure they were cheating–which, translated, probably meant I was losing. Later, my husband and sons played Monopoly–I wouldn’t play–and the same level of emotion often “erupted” from that game. So I avoid it. Let’s face it–I work for non-profits.

*Were there any games that were not allowed to be played? Why?

The only thing I can remember is that my grandmother went through phases of thinking it wasn’t “ok” to play cards. It sort of depended on what preacher she’d heard recently. As she got older, and also as we begged her, she would play with gusto.

My husband had never played cards nor had he played any game with dice. He said his mother would make a spinner for any game that required the throw of dice to move ahead. He soon mastered both cards and dice. Don’t tell his mom.

*Did your parents have a regular night when they would play games or cards with friends or extended family?

No, though I do have a very early memory of going to some people’s house who were high-school friends of my parents. They played cards, but I only remember that happening once.

*Did you ever have game nights with groups, clubs, or neighbors on a regular basis?

No.

*Was game playing associated with certain annual events, like holidays, birthdays, or vacation times?

Our game playing tends to be centered around the holidays when we were all together. The past few years, it is Thanksgiving.

*What kinds of snacks and beverages were enjoyed during game playing?

The times we played with grandparents, we often had popcorn. (See my story about popping corn with my grandfather and friend here.) My granddad was also particularly fond of ice cream, to “cool your belly.” My sisters-in-law usually have some yummy snacks–almonds, M&Ms, and those butter-soaked crackers with chocolate chips melted on top and sprinkled with nuts.

*Were there prizes awarded to game winners or even to losers? What kinds? Did everyone chip in towards purchasing the prizes?

No prizes. Just bragging rights.

*Did your family or you ever do jigsaw puzzles? What’s the largest–in terms of number of puzzle pieces–jigsaw puzzle you’ve completed?

We don’t do this so much any more but we used to. I remember having one one year that was too big to fit on the card-table. One of the doctor’s office I go to often has a jig-saw puzzle out on a table–I often find myself working on it and thinking about the times we used to do them as a family.

*What did you do with completed puzzles? Did you display them or simply put them away?

They went back in the box and probably then to the thrift shop.

*What about puzzles such as crosswords, cryptograms, or others found in puzzle books? Are you a Sudoku fiend?

My mom and I used to race to see who could get to the crossword puzzle in the newspaper first. And it was a standing joke in our family that Dad knew the most esoteric things. When I asked my own husband some question about a long-ago political party, and he knew the answer was “Locofoco,” I knew the torch had been passed.

One of my brothers likes crosswords and the other likes cryptograms. One of my sons does Sudoku–I’ve avoided them as I’m afraid of getting another obsession.

*Did you ever go to an arcade and play pinball machines or other arcade-style games? Or did you ever shoot pool?

There were pinball machines at the bowling alley in the little town where I grew up, and the bowling alley was one of the approved places to go. I liked playing pinball. I don’t remember playing pool until I went to college, and then it was at the home of the dean of the fairly conservative college I attended. fun!

*Do you remember seeing your first video game, either in an arcade or on a television (Pong, Atari or early Nintendo games)?

I remember playing Pong on an early Apple personal computer. We had one in the department where I taught–it was out for anyone to play so we could “get over” any anxiety we had about computers. What a good idea.

*What kinds of video games did you like to play, if any? Do you play any now (gaming station or handheld)?

I quit playing video games a long time ago–I used to play Mario Brothers–on my computer. Those games have long out-stripped my abilities. This past Christmas holiday, I was laying in bed, listening to my now adult sons out in the living room playing Wii–they were having a good time and I was having a good time listening to them.

*What was your first computer game? Do you ever play computer games now, either on your computer or online?

I think my first computer game was probably Pong. I do occasionally play Bejeweled, Text-Twist, Freecell, Solitaire, and Zuma–mostly games my son installed on my computer and got me hooked on. I don’t play online. Too chicken.

*What about the present? Does your family or do you personally play games or do puzzles? Do you participate in game nights with others, such as poker or Bunco?

We tend to play games only at holidays when we’re all together. My oldest son and I occasionally do crosswords–

*Here are some other game ideas to write about: lawn games (horseshoes, croquet, badminton); kid games (marbles, jacks); betting, casino games, and bingo; party games (pinata, pin the tail on the donkey), etc.

I loved playing jacks as a kid. I can still smell the heat coming off the building and sidewalk where we sat in second grade playing game after game of jacks at recess. I was pretty good–I think I had fairly good hand-eye coordination. I can remember playing horseshoes occasionally in South Dakota–I could never get the hang of it. I did master shuffleboard–the best minister at our little church when I was a teen put a shuffleboard game and a ping-pong table in the church basement. I wonder how I kept from letting loose with the swear words then?

*What do you know about your parents’, grandparents’, or perhaps even great-grandparents’ game playing? Do you remember them saying anything about games they played when they were young?

My maternal grandparents played cards. And they also talked about playing baseball and basketball at their country school. My grandmother was supposedly pretty good–or maybe it was just my granddad’s romantic memories. He always talked about how good she was. Somehow I don’t think my paternal grandparents would have played games–but I just don’t know.

*Do you have any photos of either your present or your childhood families playing games? What about ancestral photos?

I have lots of pics of us playing cards and various other games. Here’s one from last Thanksgiving–Aggravation on the homemade board. Sadly, no ancestral photos.

I recently found the obituary for my mom’s one surviving cousin from her father’s side of the family. There were only six of them to begin with, and with my uncle’s death last year, there’s now only one.

This cousin died 5 1/2 years ago. I feel a little guilty for not knowing sooner–I called her and let her know when my mom died, but I heard nothing about her death. I should have traveled the 75 miles to visit her or at least called her up. I sort of went into hiding for a couple of years after my mom died–actually, my mother and both of her parents, my grandparents, all died within 6 months of each other the end of 1998. It took me a while to do anything more than what was absolutely necessary and I didn’t really even know I was operating in a fog. So I didn’t keep in touch.

At any rate, I regret not knowing about Lavada’s death. But her obituary is the model of what an obituary should be. It lists her maiden name, her nick-name, and the maiden name of her mother. It lists the full names of her husband, her parents, and her children–it lists the in-laws full names and the names of her grandchildren. It also lists the towns where they each live–I’ve been thinking about giving them a call. We only know each other from the times we’d be visiting Aunt Edna’s–their grandmother–at the same time they were there visiting. We didn’t really overlap all that much. I probably know more about them from my mom keeping me current than I do from first-hand experience.

Her obituary states where she graduated from high school–she must have been living with her aunt, my great-aunt Lorene of bladder-training fame, in Kansas, at the time. Her wedding was there as well–and the obituary listed their wedding date–all information I didn’t know. What an obituary can reveal.

I found the obituary on the USGenWeb Archives page. I had to hunt–there is no apparent link between the Payne County webpage and the Payne County archives. It’s the archives that has the obituaries, as well as the cemetery listings and lots of other good information. I first found an SSDI record which gave me the date of death–the only way I could find her obituary since I wasn’t certain I was spelling her surname correctly–it’s sort of tricky. But find it I did.

I’m sorry I didn’t talk to her before she died. In the past few years, I’ve learned how much I depended on my mother for “family news.” I’ve come to know that I have to put forth the effort myself if I want to maintain those ties. The hunt for this obituary also reinforced what I know about searching the internet–you can’t just put in a name and expect what you want to know to pop up. You must know the resources and how to use them.

I’ve always appreciated the USGenWeb project–I was a county coordinator for a time for the Texas county where I grew up–before they had good internet service themselves. There’s a great deal of variety among what is offered on the various county websites, but that’s part of the chase–you just never know what you’ll find. But you cannot depend on Google to search each page and “find” what you’re looking for. You have to know where to look.

So I learned some things about my cousins, I learned a bit about what goes into a good obituary, and I reinforced what I know about searching that wild animal known as the Internet. This search prove a worthwhile, though bittersweet, experience.

Update:  I went to the newspaper on microfilm to look at the original, and there was a photo!  Again, it often pays to go to the source.

In keeping with my plan to respond to other bloggers’ challenges or questions, here’s my response to Miriam Midkiff’s prompts over at AnceStories2. The theme is winter.

* What has been your attitude toward winter? Is it “the weather outside is frightful” or “let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”?

Comparatively, I like winter more than summer because I don’t like to be hot. I don’t dread it and I’m not particularly afraid to drive in wintry weather. Maybe that comes from having grown up in the Texas panhandle where winters could be fierce but not all that long–and there were chores to be done no matter the weather so staying in the house all the time was not an option. (Not that I had to do the chores, but Dad was out there come rain or shine or snow.)

*What are or were your favorite outdoor winter activities? Some ideas to jog your memory include sledding, skiing, skating, snowshoeing, snowball fights, or making snowmen. Where did you go to do these activities? Did you ever have an accident participating in any of the more active sports?

Of course we had to make a snowman when we were kids if we got enough snow to do so. I also remember my brothers and the neighborhood boys making snow forts–we even had them on the playground at school for a few days one winter. We could hardly wait to get out there, install ourselves in our respective forts and let the snowballs fly.

I have never skiied–not too many opportunities in the panhandle, though some of the area families used to travel to Red River or Taos to ski. My winter sports were mainly done in South Dakota at my grandparents’ place. We ice skated on the companion pond to the where we swam in the summer–I loved ice skating even if my ankles weren’t really cooperative. And we nearly always went sledding or tobaggonning. Somewhere in the family archives are some wonderful home movies of us all out on the hills taken about 1953. My dad, who would have been a very young 24 or so, was attempting to go down the hill on a grain scoop. He had the handle out front using is as a steering mechanism. Needless to say, there were lots of accidents on the slopes that day, but it looks like we were having a lot of fun.

*What are or were your favorite indoor winter activities? Did you play board games or cards, listen to the radio or watch TV, do puzzles or needlework, read books and magazines, or write letters, journals, or stories?

I’ve always read, no matter the weather. We didn’t have tv when I was growing up–not that it wasn’t available, but my mother thought it was “not a good influence.” I’m pretty sure it would have been no worse that the attitudes and words that were produced when my brothers and I played a game of Monopoly. But even today, when we get together at Thanksgiving or Christmas, there are card games and/or dominoes going on, and usually a really big jig-saw puzzle set up on a table over to the side.

*What do you remember about winter clothing in your childhood? Do you have any stories to tell about long johns, snow suits or snow pants, a favorite or unfavorite pair of boots? Did you wear a pair of mittens with a string connecting them around your neck?

The main thing this part of the prompt makes me remember is Bill Cosby’s routine on “Idiot Mittens.” I suppose you have to be of a certain age to remember that and smile.

*Did anyone ever make you hats, scarves, mittens or sweaters to wear? Were they knitted or crocheted?

No one in my family knitted or crocheted. I do remember getting this “wonderful” mohair sweater for Christmas about 1967–we’re all standing out in the South Dakota winter sun and snow having our picture made. Everyone’s all bundled up except me–I’m proudly displaying my gold fuzzy sweater and brown stirrup pants. Those were the days!

*What were your favorite winter foods or drinks? Some ideas include soups, stews, casseroles, hot chocolate, tea, or hot buttered rum.

I don’t remember winter food being much different than the rest of the year. After they retired from spending winters in South Dakota and would be at my aunt and uncle’s, my grandmother would make stew that was delicious. The last bite was always a kicker because she inevitably sneaked in a little cayenne pepper, which settled to the bottom. And Grandad would do his popcorn thing, so I guess those are my main memories of winter food.

*How about the cold? Did you ever get frostbite? Did you ever take a dare and stick your tongue on something metal? Was your bedroom cold at night in the winter? How did you stay warm at night…with an electric blanket, a bedwarming pan, or hot potatoes at the foot of your bed under the covers?

I don’t think I ever officially got frostbite, but I think I came close. The year I was in the 6th grade we lived in South Dakota and my brothers and I went to what was essentially a 2 room schoolhouse. Recess was great fun–there was a huge hill by the school and in the spring and fall we often went down that hill inside a tractor tire. In the winter, we used sleds or tobaggons or what were called “flying saucers.”

My bedroom that year was freezing. We lived in apartment above my grandmother’s store and post office. The only heat source was the furnace in the store downstairs. My mother lived in terror of our being in a fire, and, looking back on it, I can understand with that fear. All the bedrooms were in a row on one side of the apartment–I think it might have formerly been a hotel. My room was on the end that had an outside wall. I think I had an electric blanket but I don’t remember for sure. I just remember that I could usually see my breath in that room.

And the real “inconvenience” was that the toilet was downstairs and outside. This was 1963–not really the dark ages, but it certainly was different than what I was used to, having come from the oh, so civilized, Texas panhandle.

The only thing I can remember sticking my tongue on is the orange juice can. In those days, we bought condensed juice in a small frozen can, added 3 cans of water and stirred briskly. But what was there about sticking one’s tongue on that can? It’s almost a rite of passage for people from that era, and I have to admit I did it more than once. So much for “live and learn.”

*What big storms or hard winters do you have memories or stories of?

About 1956 there was a huge blizzard in the panhandle. We have a picture of our little house with a snowdrift up to the eaves.

My most recent memory of a bad storm is the ice storm we’ve just experienced here in Oklahoma City. Our power was out 6 days. Our fine mayor wants to bring an NBA team to the City–I’m wondering how interested they are going to be in coming to a place that has trouble keeping their power on?

*If you live(d) in areas that get little to no snow during the winter, what are or were your winters like? Windy and rainy? Warm or hot? Did you wish for snow, or were you glad you didn’t get any? If it did occasionally snow, did the bad weather shut down your community? Do you remember the first time you saw snow? What did you think of it?

I’ve always lived in a place that gets snow, at least occasionally. Of course, there’s always the hope that the snow will shut down work or school. That happens more here in Oklahoma–I don’t ever remember school being called in South Dakota. I am actually one of those people who can honestly say she walked to school in -20 weather. Granddad would sometimes take Grannie on the tractor to open the store–the mail must go through, y’know. She had to be there, just in case. Plus I think they kind of liked the challenge of it all–Granddad had some sort of heater on his pickup and that was the first vehicle I remember seeing plugged in at the utility pole. They certainly didn’t have a garage, so between the plugged in pickup and the tractor, they could usually get where they needed to go. They lived on gravel roads that Mr. Stuart, the county road caretaker, kept graded with the road-grader he kept at his home.

*Do you remember stories from your parents, grandparents, or other family members or old timers of big storms or hard winters of the past?

I just remember my mom talking about their first winter in South Dakota. Granddad had moved up there thinking he wanted to ranch. My dad and he had spent the summer and fall doing the back-breaking work of putting up fence and then the winter came. Feeding and watering the livestock in those conditions was a bit more than Granddad bargained for, I think. By the time I was a teenager, he was leasing out his pasture land and farming some land he rented from an absentee landlord. There were a couple of horses in the barn that had to be tended to, but that was far easier than having to tend livestock in the pasture.

*Do you have any photos of your ancestors outdoors in the winter, or of their homes or automobiles covered with snow? What about photos of ancestral horses and sleighs?

I talked a little bit about some of the photos earlier. Grannie would send us pictures of the snow in her letters from South Dakota–she was the family photographer. She was the one who shot the movies referenced above. No pictures of ancestral horses and sleighs, though there must have been some of those–I wonder if that’s how the part of the family who lived in Russia in the 1860s-70s got around.

I think there’s something to be said for living in a place that has seasons–sometimes in this part of the country it seems like there are only two–summer and winter, but the change of seasons creates a nice rhythm for life. And I can always use the cold as an excuse to not go out–sort of like I use the heat in the summer time.

Today is the 100th anniversary of Oklahoma’s statehood. She entered the Union 16 November 1907.

That’s a pretty young state. At work, where we do lots of research for folks with ancestors in Oklahoma or Indian Territory, we spend a lot of time explaining that there just aren’t birth or death records for their family members. Vital records were supposed to be kept as statehood began, but the reality is that such records really aren’t reliable until the mid 1930s.

I usually consider myself a Texan–my dad’s family was there before statehood–the Coopers came from Tennessee in 1841–and I was born there, which makes me a 6th generation Texan. But, as I always say, I’ve lived in Oklahoma much longer than I lived in Texas.

My mother’s family was here in Oklahoma Territory before statehood, but as noted, statehood for Oklahoma is much more recent. My mother’s mother was born in what was eventually Beckham County, prior to statehood, in 1906. They had come from Alabama to file on land available south of present day Elk City, down around Mangum. Granddad was born out in Dewey County just as Oklahoma turned a year old–in 1908. His grandparents had come from Russia in 1874 to near McPherson, Kansas, and then came south to Woods County, Oklahoma Territory when that land opened for settlement.

I did find what are called “delayed birth certificates” for each of my maternal grandparents. They had filed them in the 1950s while they still lived in South Dakota. They had to have affidavits from other family members and they filled out the forms themselves–another type of interesting vital record–a birth certificate form completed by the person.

The Oklahoma Genealogical Society’s First Families of the Twin Territories has seen a flurry of activity with people documenting and submitting their lineage from a family member who was in Oklahoma or Indian Territory prior to statehood on 16 November 1907. I submitted one side of the family early on–I only had to document back to my grandmother and that was easy. I need to get the other side done. For a while, I was stumped on finding a marriage record for my granddad’s parents, but that was finally located in Zoar Mennonite church records in Goltry.

So happy birthday, Oklahoma, and congratulations to my ancestors who braved the wind and the drought and the dust to come to settle this grand land.

Today at work I was looking for an online listing of a tombstone for a family I assumed was of German from Russia descendancy. I was looking at the usual sites–Findagrave and Internment.net and the web page for the county on Oklahoma’s GenWeb page.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my great Aunt Edna. She was my maternal grandfather’s sister, the oldest child of that family. I was talking to her about the Karoma Cemetery in Goltry, Oklahoma where her parents and both sets of her grandparents, and a few of her great-grandparents are buried. (This is the cemetery I took my husband to early in my genealogy quest. We wrote down all the family names I knew and we came up with 86 people!) I told her that I’d found tombstones for all the family at Goltry but there was only a small funeral home marker on the grave of her Unruh grandparents who had died in 1929 and 1932.

She told me they’d be pretty unhappy to know there was even that much marking of their grave. I knew that side of the family were all Mennonites, but all Mennonites are not created equal. Benjamin John Unruh (1854-1929) and his wife Helena Nachtigal (1852-1932) were evidently from one of the more conservative sects. Aunt Edna said there had been no mirrors and no photographs in their home, and they would not approve of a tombstone to mark their grave. Then she grinned and said they were called the “fur-bearing Christians.” She said her grandfather Unruh always had a big long beard, also part of his religious beliefs. Aunt Edna’s description of them as “fur-bearing” still makes me smile.

Today’s newspaper has a cover story in the Life section about popcorn balls, tying it to Halloween and fall. One of my favorite memories is making popcorn balls with my granddad.

My mom’s parents lived in South Dakota in an old house that I suspect was built about 1880. The kitchen had a sloping floor because it had been built with a cistern underneath–the cistern was no longer used but the floor still sloped. My grandmother said she saw a fireball roll across the kitchen floor one evening during a lightening storm, and my dad said the second year of my brother’s life he (dad) was always soaked in milk because he sat “downhill” from him at mealtimes. That kitchen also had at least 2 and sometimes 3 pantries–depending on which state of re-modeling the kitchen was in–they stored such disparate things as the shotguns and rifles we used for hunting, the ironing board, and every check-stub my granddad ever wrote.

The evenings were long in South Dakota–I was usually either re-reading the Zane Grey series of westerns my grandmother had bought on subscription for my aunt, or I was trying to watch the snowy television that got one channel.

Sometimes Granddad decided we needed a treat–he had a real sweet tooth, which, of course, was just fine with us grandkids. He believed in lots of ice cream to “cool your belly.” That was no mean fete when the ranch was 17 miles from town–we usually had a small cone from the dairy stand next door to the grocery store, and then we wrapped the frozen 1/2 gallons of ice cream from the store in triple layers of newspaper tied with string to transport them home. But sometimes the treat of choice was popcorn balls.

Making popcorn balls with Granddad (as was anything when Granddad was involved) was a real procedure. First we had to fire up the old O’Keefe and Merritt range that ran on propane. We had to find just the right pan to pop the corn in, adjust for the precise ratio of corn and oil, and then we had to find the exact balance between shaking the pan and letting it sit so the maximum number of kernels would pop.

Even after this careful attention, some unpopped kernels made it through, so we had to sort those out. We usually made 3 or 4 batches of popcorn, and we put them in the big enamel dishpan on the table that sat in the middle of the kitchen. Us kids were usually tasked with sorting while Granddad got the syrup started.

The recipe must have been in his head because I never saw a piece of paper. He watched it carefully, adjusting the gas flame and analyzing the boil and then dropping a sample into a cup of cold water. He’d stick his finger into the water and roll the sample around–if it formed a ball then it was ready–he seemed to be able to look at the bubbles in the pan, though, and know. I doubt he ever saw a candy thermometer. All this time, he’s narrating what he’s doing and telling us what he’s looking for. I listened, but my own popcorn balls still require a recipe. And a thermometer.

If we were lucky, we could rustle up some nuts to put into the mix–sometimes Granny had some pecans or peanuts squirreled away and those went into the dishpan mix as well. He gave it a final stir to be sure we’d gotten all the “old maids” out–see below for my theory on why he called them that. Maybe he added a shake or two of salt. Then, while telling us how important it was to pour the hot syrup carefully so we didn’t get burned but also so it coated all the popped corn, Granddad began pouring in the boiling clear sweet syrup. He’d turn the dishpan with one hand and pour the syrup in a very thin stream with the other. Sometimes he’d tell us to go ahead and start stirring–how we avoided getting burned I’ll never know, but I don’t remember any serious accidents.

Then it was time to eat. Most of the popcorn never made it into a ball–we just ate it “loose.” It was delicious everytime. We’d eat our fill and then peel the stray bits of syrup off the sides of the dishpan. I remember later after he and Granny had moved from South Dakota down to stay with my aunt in Oklahoma where I was going to college, a college friend and I persuaded Grandad to help us make some popcorn at my aunt’s. Grandad couldn’t hear very well as he aged, but when my friend asked me why he called the unpopped kernals “old maids,” and in a hushed tone, I ventured a guess, we were met with a “Now, girls…” from Granddad. I reminded him that he didn’t hear so well and he reminded me to be nice. My friend and I still have a laugh over that one.

Recently I met a woman who told me that one of her favorite childhood memories was going to my great-aunt’s house at Halloween because my Aunt Edna always had delicious popcorn balls. This was out in the Oklahoma panhandle, where the trick-or-treating took some chauffeuring as the farm houses weren’t all that close together. Aunt Edna was my granddad’s sister–must have been one of their family traditions.

I guess they are amigos. I can’t think of another reason to have their picture taken together.

I don’t think they are brothers, though they do appear to have the same seamstress. And maybe they are brothers, though I don’t think they look alike.

On the reverse is written “Uncle John Unruh left.” If they were brothers, wouldn’t the name of the other person be given as well?

Do you think he’s the same person as the one in this photo?

The handwriting on the back of the first picture looks like my grandmother’s, which would make John Unruh her father-in-law, not uncle.

But maybe it’s not her handwriting. The only John Unruh I can find in my database that would fit this approximate time period is my great-grandfather John B. Unruh, the same man in the second photo.

What do you think? And how about those overalls?!